2.1 		   BULLYING.TXT  V 1.7.6


       		      INTRODUCTION



This bullying report is in ASCII only. It features three general
 areas; the later sections inheriting  previous outlines of work with
 engraved detail. It uses 'Transactional Games Analysis' 
(recognised in Psychology & Psychiatry) and promotes a personal 
hypothesis to broaden its application in attempting to explain some
aspects of bullying.





I apologise for lack of 'fancy graphics' modern computer users 
are accustomed. This means that automatic grammar correction was 
not available during this reports construction. The report is 
around 70 single-side pages in length (A4 paper). 
   
 



		Methodology used in designing 'Bullying'




The works design has been largely composed from retrospective, 
structured analysis of  work experience. The author uses this
to explain the method and comments he found this report cathartic.





2.1   BULLYING

		

		2.1.1	How to read this report

			Personal and general information
			
			R.M.S Titanic sidelines

			Disclaimer

		


 	  2.2 Three stages of bullying typically in work-place

		Level one

		(a) Topics to avoid with strangers

		(b) Definitions

		(c) Intolerance begins

		Level two

		(d) Your 'enemies' definitions of you

		(e) Out
			(e-i)-(e-vii) Definitions of abuse in work place
			(based on personal experience over 10 years)

		Level three

		(f) Assault


		(g) Back ground information common to most bullies



	  2.3 General background to bullying in some male/female combinations

		(Bully is second, you are first)
		(i)   Male-female

			Reasons and back-ground for their anger

			Examples

			Sexual disputes: the classic four mistakes
			in the work-place.

			Interests of most women today 

			If you liked your bully before they changed

		(ii)  Female-Male

			Ranking of people

			Thunder-bolt

		(iii) Male-Male

			Personal illustrations of methods

			Examples

	
		(iv)   Child-Child

			Personal illustrations

			Examples

			The 'three-chord trick' of child bullies


	  2.4 MAIN SECTION

	   	2.4.1 Are you being bullied?


	              Signs of Depression due to bullying.


		2.4.2.@1-@10 Handles to possible symptoms.

	
  		2.4.3-@1-@14  Verbose descriptions and practical counter
                                measures based on personal experience, and
                                reading around the topic over several years.
				These are linked reports; from slight
				to serious.
				


	  2.5 Conclusions 


	  2.6  Bibliography / Post-script




******************************************************************



                   		 Compatibility



This  document is designed to be read by most 80 column ASCII editors, 
for widest compatibility. Although any WINDOWS 3.1 (or greater) word
 processor which can handle unformatted files of 120k would be an ideal 
base to print these  documents.  





The reader may wonder 'Why not use something more advanced?'.  The 
answer is that the only constant in word processing circles is ASCII.



*********************************************************************



                  PREFACE TO v1.6.1 and above version of 
		    'intro*' and 'bullying'




It has become clear that irrespective of the intelligence of 
the bully, bullies use very similar methods (in the experience
of the author).



 
This account deals with  tested methods of dealing with 
some bullies. Work has been compiled and validated since 1990, 
and written from June 1998 to Spring 1999.


**********************************************************************


2.1.1				BULLYING




			HOW TO READ THIS REPORT



* INQUIRY

* DEMONISATION, BAITING-TORMENTING

* ASSAULT



Three-simplified-steps to bullying.




The report has three basic sections. 



The first (2.2) is a general, common sense introduction to concepts
related to bullying. It then introduces the authors three-tier
hypothesis of levels of bullying which is used in the next two 
sections, E.G. {'THREE STAGES OF BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE'}.





 The next sections (2.3) are in  the subject gender combinations 
which may be individually addressed. This allows a  reduction in 
the amount to be read. It is optional, but if you have the time 
you may be interested by reading all of the  sections, 
irrespective of that categorised combination.





The last section (2.4) is the list from 1-14 of a likely 'timetable'
and tested antithesis measures.


*****************************************************************


PERSONAL AND GENERAL INFORMATION




Leon Owen Jones is the author of the bullying report. He was born in
1964 in England and is currently disabled. Leon graduated from 'Bolton
Institute of Higher Education', (B.I.H.E, England) in 'Electronic 
Technology', 1996. His early education showed an interest in perception
but changed to engineering instead.





For your 'Titanic' interest, Leon lives  not far from a cotton mill
which used to be owned by the father of Charles Herbert Lightoller; the
 most senior officer who survived the sinking. The Yorkshireman Wallis
 Hartley who lead  the band which played during the floundering is 
also buried within a few hours drive. Also not far away from the 
birthplace of Captain Rostron and Captain Lord; the former the man 
who's ship 'Carpathia' picked up  survivors and latterly, the careful 
Captain of the 'Californian', who was unfairly made the dubious focus by 
both the American and English inquiries following the disaster of 
April 14, 1912. 





Leon's hobbies are computing and technology, Guitar, Maths, JazzFM, and 
walking his Yorkshire Terrier; 'Sam'.


*********************************************************************


			Disclaimer



This report does not imply that it is policy of B.I.H.E. This
report is based  on several years personal experience and from
from acknowledged sources. The author has not knowingly plagiarised
 other works. If your bullying causes you to doubt this report-and
 its serious-ASK SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY FOR HELP. The authors PRIMARY 
advice is to  promote personal thinking about your predicament. 

 
***************************************************************




2.2		THREE STAGES OF BULLYING IN THE WORKPLACE







				LEVEL ONE



(a) Your (new) work-mates are sounding you out by repeated
questioning soon after first meeting occurs. This can also 
be quite innocent and sociable behaviour. Try not to reveal
that you would not like to send  on the back of a postcard. 
Do stay well clear of the following topics, when you do
not know them very well.




		Topics to avoid with relative strangers.



* Religion; Don't reveal any particular 'brand loyalty'.



* Sex; Gay or straight, its a mine field



* Politics/ Racial issues; You could end up with broken legs



* Money, detail your own or others financial status



* Major personal indiscretions; crime or misdemeanours, tell your
  parents if at all.



* Failure to observe territorial 'boundaries' e.g. 'That's
  my chair, I/we always eat at that table and chair' etc.



* Indications of private affairs to non essential parties
  (This could be inferred by this report!)



* Telling people how well your doing  will make strangers
  angry



* Be typically competent at your work. Too little skill
  will 'call' for abuse from others. Too great a skill will
  'cause' jealousy from 'work mates' or bullies asking you to
  complete more of their work for them. This carries with
  perceived status of your job or profession. Being 'above'
  another 'status or rank' will irate, as will being 'below'.
  This is typical of office politics and job centres in that
  'streaming' is carried out intermittently by the work-force.




* Do not loan equipment to strangers in the hope they  will
  like you.




* Try  not to wear a team/academic T-shirt as it  could cause
  trouble.




* Don't repeat 'gay' or 'camp' jokes, unless you are gay.
  Even if the joke is funny, do not repeat it to a straight
  audience.



* Swearing is often seen by others as an excuse to inflict painful
  games upon the 'offender'. It is often the case that these
  games are arguably more corrupt than the swearing, yet are 'right'.




You either trust them too much or they are already 'bosom-
buddies' and are beyond reproach. Only idiots talk about
these subjects in detail to strangers, unless they are 
in a television studio or in a court of law.



			Topics to talk with strangers




'What can you talk about then?' you may ask. Ask the
other to talk about themselves. As an alternative, talk 
about topics you read in the news papers, or shared hobbies.
Avoid the above list till you really know your 'friend'. 
This can take up to several months in some cases.




			You are nothing but...

				


(b) Using information gathered about your or your work to fit
into their characteristic definition of that they hate.
You will probably become a 'vessel to contain their wrath.' This
means that bullies ignore your feelings, getting at what you
represent. This is 'Demonisation' of you and, as a consequence,
 'absolves' bullies of error and guilt for their actions. 




			What is Demonisation?



For example, if someone commented that a man in your neighbourhood
had killed his own children. Others would be concerned or frightened 
about this claim. If, this case of murder was fictional, and was
 a story designed to lower the social rank of a person for other
reasons than loyalty to the state, the demonisation you feel towards
 this character would tend to evaporate. If this was a malicious 
story you could feel you have been mislead.
 Think how you would felt towards this character before you knew the 
'story' was made-up. This would be categorised as 'Demonisation'. 
It is a state in which the focus has all their humanity denied
and in its place is 'something representing a cause or belief
which is objectionable to another party'. This is inflammatory to 
others and always leads to conflict of some sort. It is based of 
corrupted and distorted view of 'intelligent and respectable 
thinking' and is fundamentally, a method of absolving bullies of 
guilt and making you-the object- feel guilty. This will wear down
 your confidence, and thus, your ability to resist their advances.
 Both parties may show an interest in 'moral imperatives'
and 'superlatives' at the cost of more general behaviour.





(c) Becoming intolerant, and complaining to the boss and
talking behind your back most of the time.




				LEVEL TWO




(d) Seeing you as the enemy is completed, the bully views themselves
 as those who are 'right' and you being 'in-the-wrong'. Confrontation 
or being awkward, exclusion and the silent treatment are typical at
this level. It is noticeable that bullies have a 'vertical' social
 structure which is highly dynamic/unstable. This means bullies 
judge you as 'inferior' in some superficial way. Bullies often 
complain about those 'above' them in wage scale or some other 
concept which links this to 'social worth'. Hence, this could be 
the archaic industrial method of staff streaming impressing its 
'authority' into  local morality. This 'method' has been observed 
in various workplaces of the north-west of England and may exist 
elsewhere.




			'Tell me why you pick on me!'




You have probably  been selected by your 'behaviour' to be the excuse to 
vent-sometimes unlimited rage and scorn whilst you share their workplace
environment. You may have some 'flaw' which is the excuse in the eye
of the bully. A tendency to butt-in or to talk about yourself or something 
harmless like this, which singles you out. If you talk too personally 
or expect instant intimacy you will be a candidate for being bullied. 
If you have qualifications or want a career and talk about it to someone 
who is twisted about their life going nowhere, is another 'fuse ready 
to become lit' in the eye of a bully. They could have treated you 
like dirt, and you swore back to point out the error, is another 
favourite 'reason' in the mind of the bully. You could be wearing 
an academic T-shirt in the company who feel second rate due to 
their lack of schooling. You could be supporting the 'wrong' team. 
You could be doing well at a task and others want the 'glory' but 
do not want to work for it, and take it out on you instead. You
could exhibit inappropriate behaviour in the eyes of a bully; swearing,
not swearing, being silent, talking loud, being shy are common
'reasons' for being picked-on. These reasons can be an excuse to
insult  you to get you angry, then they use disproportional force
on you has a 'defence'. The latter is a type of 'Corner' game, see
later for details.





(e) Bullies want you out of the job as soon as possible, often
by setting you up. Bullying techniques are as follows and
not in order of occurrence and may happen in changeable order
depending if you are 'winning' or 'losing' the argument.





		(e,i)   Straight abusive and swearing about you
			or your work. Often setting you up for a
			fall, e.g. taking the blame for something
			the supervisor/ your boss attributes to you.
			At least you know what is to come next.



		
		(e,ii)  Repeating what you say or do to 'club' you
			with your own words and actions. They often
                        do not swear, but think making other lives hell
			is O.K. This includes distorting accounts to
                        your supervisor  or boss/significant others.




		(e,iii) Sexual swear words to mock your sexuality,
			race, beliefs, hobbies, family members body
			build or weight.
			This hurts and is inflammatory to others.
			It is designed to cause other to get angry
			and to set them on you as a consequence.
			If you are over-weight, for example,
			children may insult you for no other reason. 

                     


		(e, iv) Isolation by the whole of your work place
			which gives both parties a distorted view of
                        the situation. It causes stress to build 
                        and makes you think the worst of your self.	


		

		(e, v)  Direct physical threats to you, your belongings
			or family members. Your dealing with an enraged
			person or someone who thinks they will get away
			with it. You could be in prison, the army, a
			extreme form of regimentation or basically
			a place in which 'normal' rules do not apply.
			You could be a child being bullied by a father
			, brother or sister or a school bully.



		(e, vi) Another well used technique is to keep interrupting
			another persons argument with questions until
			the speaker has lost the thread of their 
			conversation. It is often used against people
			who have a argument which is 'complex in nature,'
			and the listener is not 'bothered', or lacks
			capacity to comprehend. Another
			method is 'over-talking' the other person.
			This is  common technique when two parties are
			excited and are playing the game of 'Courtroom'.


		
		(e, vii) This is a three star argument inciter: denial.

			 Something along the lines of another person
			 saying that your side is invalid. This means
			 you are lying, and thus 'wrong'. Again this
			 'right and wrong' plus 'vertical' social
			 structure is prevalent. If the accuser
       			 will not see reason, then one is sorely tempted
			 to swear and simply repeat one original
			 statement. In analysis is a type of
			 'corner' game;  'admit your lying, (in the wrong
			 and lose status) else put up
			 with my insults.'  An alternative is 'Now I've
			 got you, you son of a bitch' game. It is often
			 to do with the status of at least one of the 
			 members in the group and facts are in second
			 place.






				LEVEL THREE




(f) Examples of this level are as follows. Actual physical assault or
 damaging your home and mode of transport. Bullies will encourage 
you to put up with the beatings and say that it is 'your fault'. 
The bully may 'give you the choice' to either pay them in cash
to 'temporarily' stop or for you to endure the constant abuse; a
corner type of game. Lengthy exposure to this  will tend to wilt 
your ability to think clearly. This will make you feel trapped to 
your attacker, they are both your 'hope and your jailer' at the 
same time. Bullies then may you offer their 'help' if you wish 
to 'commit suicide'. Alternatively, they may trap the subject 
with mind-games so you do not fight back. This is because you
think any 'normal' person would stop soon.






(g)		Background to bullying; some pointers




This section may give some insight to the mental make-up of bullies.
The more you understand some bullies, the easier the cure of the 
damage they cause. Each attribute has been observed in bullies by 
the author. Each paragraph describes attributes seen in a sample of 
25 (approx) bullies in the Northwest of England from primary school to the
working world.




		A main support of the bullies mental outlook


			'Lack of Foresight'			


			'Shop-floor Morality'


			'Lack of Accountability'


			'Expect great change...'


			'Over Generalise'


			'Repetition'


			'Over Moralisation'


			'Mind reading'


			'Inversion'


			'Right thinking/Demonisation'


			'Group think'


			'Invoking Inertia'




		Lack of Foresight



Most bullies react to that 'immediately in front of them' and
often do not comprehend the less obvious motives which guide them.
Often bullies fail to see that the climate which they press to
encourage, could actually harm their own ideals and aims. This
could be due to having a forgetful mind. They 'do' but not know 
'why' they do, in colloquial language.



			
		Rebuke of 'shop-floor morality'





'Right and wrong' is defined within this report as  a theological, 
rule-based system in general, and specifically, a  legal issue 
which is over used with reference to day-to-day proceedings in the 
opinion of the author. To use this successfully requires deep  thought
 and is not suited to 'off-the-cuff' (haphazard) justifications,  as 
found with factory workers within a work environment. 




		Lack of accountability



A basic view held by bullies encountered is that they usually
do not notice the effects of their behaviour. If a situation or
social manoeuvre  has rules which may be however loosely defined, 
it could be called a type of machine or function. That is bullies
actions or consequences the machines 'output' is not connected to the
events they cause, the 'input to the machine'. This disconnection
can lead to outrageous and abhorrent behaviour leading to the 
'surgery, courtroom or the morgue'. [quotation 'G.P.P', Dr Eric Burne]





Bullies use a 'rag-tag' collection of manoeuvres which  seem to work 
in  operation. Bullies will 'switch' to another technique if the 
first one fails. If they eventually run out of methods, bullies
 could just  'hit or swear' instead. The wise admit defeat and 
move on or treat you with respect.





		Expect Great Changes...




Often bullies think the only manner to cause change is to cause
great changes, very quickly. This is often due to misunderstandings
in appreciating how education works, done by those with little or
no experience of skilled training of any kind. Bullies think that,
 for example of trained personnel, any pop musician
can produce records  in five minutes flat. Often it takes longer
than this period of allotted time. 




 
If you are skilled or educated, bullies expect similar 'great changes' 
from you, else you will be 'punished.' (as stated elsewhere in this report).
 Bullies begin haphazardly trying to alter their behaviour to 'match' 
those people they see as successful-that is instantly competent-but
 become 'defeated' and 'bitter' very quickly when they 'fail'.
This test which the bully themselves failed, when applied to you, 
is designed to 'make you fail' and thus give bullies a 'handle' to
 applying more pressure.




	Over-Generalisation




Another standard feature of a manners of bullies is to over-generalise,
then to make specific, non-logical statements based on these 
unsubstantiated generalities. Their 'method' has short, loosely connected
 'factual' statements which superficially attempt to mimic logical 
methods, but show inexperience in the field.





This is sloppy thinking used to 'stoke the fires' and apply pressure 
to victims. It is so easy to think they are 'right' and know all the 
facts, without bothering to check, filter or reject errant thinking. 
If bullies believe they are 'right' and they equate 'all good' with 
their own personality, it 'follows' that anything that is not in 'their' 
way of thinking or experience of belief is 'wrong'. This automatic
 self-justification of 'facts' leads to them becoming out of date,
 obsolete and plain distorted versions of reality. As
the person is concerned with the 'right-ness' of the data and not
the quality of their facts. The two are often treated separately.
 If some bullies have to consider, they may
'get it wrong' and be 'in-the-wrong' themselves, and thus be a target
for wrath themselves from others. Hence bullies learn to be bullies 
from others and often stay this way as they presume any other approach is 
'inappropriate' and would debase them in some way. In abstract,
it is guilt/punishment avoidance which maintains such beliefs.





This  is because bullies equate 'lack of knowledge' as not
the spur to acquire fresh information, but to a raising of the
level of guilt they feel. They wish to hide feelings of inadequacy
and so live in a half world of guilt control and anger, with
absolution to their rages and skull-duggery being automatic by
playing bullying games on others.





			Repetition



Bullies can repeat condemnation your 'crimes' in order to make 
the bully reach to 'correct level' of anger they feel, in double-quick
time. Bullies can repeat the insults to reach the 'correct level of insult'
in order to 'sort things out or predict what will happen next'.
It can be said that this gives them courage to physically sort things out.
If you repeat the insults of bullies, it can have the opposite effect
and lead to loss of your morale. 



			Over Moralisation



This is another name for 'rule-based, good and bad' thinking which
 is common with bullies. An often impossibly inflexible, simplistic
 and extreme set of rules are used to guide their general day-to-day 
life. Because a follower of this system encounters others unable to 
live by these rules, much moral condemnation is heaped upon the 
errant person. The author is not saying we should not have rules,
 its when rules become unattainable by most people that a 'game' 
is in play. Note also that the person may be highly qualified in
 most respects, but can still use this and other 'faces' of a
 bully. Often bullying at  the same level as an unskilled, 
frustrated bully, whom the educated bully 'looks down upon'. 
The techniques are present in all walks of life, and are often very
 alike, which indicates bullying is not related to intelligence but 
to the overall personality of your friends and significant family members. 



			
			Mind reading




Another source  of great argument is that of being a 'mind-reader'.
This ability is based on the bullies belief in putting an (generally) 
incorrect motive to an action. If this was just a simple mistake,
which could be easily corrected, it would not matter. In some
cases it can lead to severe fights in which both sides suffer.
In one sense having the ability to read-predict- the next outcome
would be very useful. Say for crossing the road, the complex
probabilities of survival need to be low to risk  the crossing.
What if the belief is over-generalised and misapplied to something
which cannot easily be predicted. 




			Inversion	



Another technique of bullies which has been noted is that of 'inversion'.
This is a sudden change in the level of continuity of relations and
gives others the impression of the converse, the opposite
actually happened. A easy example is a person asks for help
and the helper then suffers the consequences of helping this person.
Another example is that another person who (say) sees a person stealing
is then 'set-up' as being the thief by the actual thief. The 'truthful'
facts are altered by one party just enough to point to the other party
as being responsible. It could be specifically a subset of 'Sweet heart'
in 'G.P.P' terminology or 'Lets set up Joey' generally. Often other
games/scripts determine why this game is used for so long.





		Right Thinking/ Demonisation		

	'I am right...It should be like this...I don't blame you'




It can be observed that bullies are conservative, they know what they
think is 'right' and tend to stick within  these defined boundaries.
Events and customs outside their conservative boundaries are 'suspect',
and thus 'deserve' an aggressive stance. This is due to showing a 'weakness'
in their ability to objectively process fresh information, and to limit
guilt caused by this inability, and the inability to consider other
view points, label the person(s) 'sinful'. Bullies
'project'-believe it is found elsewhere-their unease onto others 
whom are different. ['Blemish', Games People play']
 Some people are so concerned with not being 'in the wrong' that 
they do not think at all and 'lock up' objective processing of facts.
 Basically, the more the bully believes in pure black-and-white 'right
 and wrong' the odds become more stacked in the favour of that 
person suffering from an severe mental illness. Interestingly,
some mentally ill people 'bully' themselves for reasons
of an out growth of an organic problems. Their self-defeating
 and anti-social attitudes leave no one else to castigate; so they
hate themselves and blaim the self for its condition, as if they
are not responsible. Some may wish to kill themselves, which is 
the ultimate in self bullying.



			Bullies in groups


			Group-think



Another aspect is that some competition is observable in 'group think',
bullies in extreme groups. They can sometimes only register extreme
emotions generated by extreme views. Bullies notice anger and not
thought, in other words. This is the 'buzz' of Adrenaline when you 
(say) sky-dive. Its the same intensity confused for useful day-to-day 
thought and  objective information processing.





Some times bullies subdue bullying techniques and instead learn to become 
very attentive to others. This can gain social recognition of their
social skills. When the implied social status gained by such a
technique is under threat from others 'not in the know' the bullying
is reactivated and the person who may disrupt their hard work is 
dealt with very quickly by 'level two demonisation' , 'mind-reading',
'moralisation' amongst others  often playing games such as 'Courtroom'
 or 'Now I've Got You, You Son of a Bitch' [Games People Play, Dr. Eric 
Burne MD.]





Bullies usually learn bullying from someone else. Bullies observe 
that mastery-often by force-of contentious issues will have benefits; 
social status and ability to get what they want with least argument 
or resistance. Like minded individuals then 'rank' each other by who
 much 'individuality' the bully can pin to this 'group-think' and 
remain within the group. It is simple competition between equals 
who carries the laurels. The less thinking involved in an issue, 
the more the muscle-merchants need to flex strong arm tactics to
 get what they require; total domination.




		Invoking Inertia




A bullies intimidation people means finding someone who cannot resist
due to fear of consequences. Part of resisting the attention of
bullies is to defend your interest and do this by telling others not
 connected with the bully of your predicament. Do NOT lock up and do 
nothing. If bullies threaten they or others will do 'such and such 
to you if you tell', it will be a greater hell they have lined up 
for you in  the  long term.





 Bullies work many-to-one or occasionally one-to-one or even one-to-many
for this reason; to make you freeze and become a 'juicy target'. The 
isolation induces a lack of a will to actively participate in a relationship
and a distorted reduction of the will power in the target of the
bullies wrath. Basically note that bullies apply techniques which
they believe will give to the bully 'domination' of you. Remember these
are techniques, and may not  even relate to the truth about you 
or your motives.





If they do threaten you now, then don't expect you can be nice to avoid it. 
This is the bullies tactic, to freeze opposition to them. Subjects of 
bullies wrath are in a game of 'corner' and  sense a balance between 
several forces which lead to high inertia in its subject. This is what 
they strive for in bullying you. If you are in this state, your nearly 
beaten and submissive. This is just what they require to dominate you.




- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


	Auxiliary issues requiring notice in this section


	Explanation of usage concerning the word 'Game'




The usage of naming behaviour as 'game' does not mean it is being
treated lightly. Games are built around rules. Call it Chess, Karate
or football. Like these games, most interactions use rules in order 
for people to communicate with one another without misunderstandings
developing and causing difficulties for all parties. These  patterns 
are learnt and have common modes of behaviour. 





The author is satisfied that 'Transactional Games  Analysis' has
improved his life skills and has adopted this method within this
report.




		An introductory 'cheats dictionary' to a 
		few games (REFERENCED FROM 'GAMES PEOPLE PLAY'
	        BY ERIC BURNE, M.D  (see BIBLIOGRAPHY 2.6))
		


NOTE: This is NOT a substitute for buying this book.



'Corner' is  displayed when a situation has only basically two
possible paths. These paths are often opposites e.g. doing 'x'
or  'h'. 'h' is the opposite of 'x'. The situation is
that both lead to the same punishment of the person involved.
'Damned if you do and damned if you don't' in simplified language.
E.g. In the film 'Spartacus' directed by Stanley Kubrick, (1960),
 this corner was used; 'You two will fight to the death, the winner 
will be crucified' (paraphrased)





'Courtroom' is a three-handed game with roles of 'prosecutor, defendant
and judge'. This superficially seems balanced but has not a jot of the
legal fairness and rigour of the real thing. 





'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch'. This is when a simple
mistake is met with 'unending' derision and swearing and questioning
of motives and status from the player. The reaction shows that being 
at the others mercy is more interesting to the player than solving 
the argument.




'Lets set up Joey'. If (say) three people are stealing goods but
at a moments notice, two friends back each other up in falsely
 saying that another had actually stolen goods. This is a battle of wills 
superficially looking like an 'inverted' morality validation. E.G.
 'I am set you up for a fall, yet I [bully] am innocent'. 




'RAPO 1-2-3'
This has three classes of behaviour, by one person gaining advantage
over another. 'Rapo' is not a genuine request for romance although 
it is based on superficial attraction.




'Rapo-1' is a hunt for a suitable giver of flattery (white) to the
other person 'blue'. When 'blue' has enough, they dumps white . This
 often happens at parties and does no real harm to either party. Blue 
may display a great level of skill in showing they are attractive to white.




'Rapo-2'
If blue causes much more concerned with insulting and hurting  the
 other party and is known as 'Buzz off Buster'. Blue may enjoy the
other person suffering, whilst white may suffer more due to having
a low esteem and proving they are playing the game of 'stupid'.




'Rapo-3'
This can  be if blue has sex with white, and then cries rape.
It can be if a blue wishes to recover self-respect from being
spurned by white and involves  the police or tries to get white
removed from office by fabricating lurid stories.




End of 'cheats dictionary' 


	
End of 'Back ground of bullying.'




*****************************************************************



2.3			BACKGROUND TO YOUR 'ENEMY'





Bullies can be found in the following combinations. Decide
how much to read yourself. Some situations may not be gender-based
and could in fact fit in several categories. This list is compiled
due to experience and is not exhaustive or  in all cases exclusive
in nature.




YOUR SEX	BULLY'S SEX  	   next	section number          Examples?

Male	     	   Female			(i)     	yes

Female		   Male				(ii)	        no

Male		   Male				(iii)           yes

Child		   Child			(iv)            yes
/Teen		   /Teen	




(i) IF YOUR SEX IS MALE AND YOUR BULLY(IES) ARE FEMALE.




		Possible reasons  for anger in a female bully.




Bullies are not reasonable. We need to make them aware of reasonable
actions and thought processes as this is the opposite of bullying.




		Definition of a 'bitch' used in this report



Female bullies may not understand they are being a 'bitch', as they 
may lack insight into their own thoughts. An assertive female is not a
bitch, she has well-rounded tact for all reasons. A bitch in this
 context is a female who plays games for the sake of it, or to unfairly 
win conflicts of interest which she starts and could result in you being 
demoted or even fired. Female bullies may 'wear' this epithet with
 pride, as an inverted social 'success' badge which is common with 
'...the jilted and the job losers.' [Games People Play]




		Ideals of some young females in a nut-shell




 
Young  women in conversation has  revealed to the author that  they 
some times feel empowered by the media to do 'better' than their mothers. 
If these sampled did not succeed, they would feel bitter. This failure 
to be as good as their  supposed sisters, in their eyes, they 
believe proves they are 'bad' in some way. You could call this
feminism or 'girl-power'. As all bullies think 
to 'good or bad' terms rather than think objectively, the generated 
anger due to this containment and division needs to be vented.





Some young (15-23) women think their high ideals  and magazines are 
realistically achievable. That is, the points selected for the 
silver screen and publishing to be of interest-due to their
 exceptional nature-is that to be expected by the proto-bullies
 in real life. Proto-bullies become disenchanted by the mundane nature 
of 'real' life more than other people in the current opinion of 
the author.





			Observed routines of bullies





If, when you are investigated and are a potential target for others
bullying attitude, bullies are intolerant towards you. If you 'fail'
in any one category to please the bully, you will be labelled totally 
'bad'. The game is designed to see you 'fail' thus deny you the
elation and approbation from others. This is 'over moralisation'
 and 'over generalisation/simplification', + 'Demonisation' coupled 
with the game 'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch' {Games People Play,
 by Eric Burne}. You will 'justify' the anger  from other frustrations 
being vented towards you. In other words, the anger is already 
there, it is just  waiting for a 'good, justifiable target'. As 
stated before, bullies apply bullying techniques to gain social 
status, not to argue factually. If two persons wish to be seen
as being 'above the other' and neither will back down, this
can lead to multiple 'tit-for-tat' supremacy attempts. This
is an attempt to project 'inferiority' on the other.





		Another trait of bullies encountered by
		the author.





Women can choose life partners who get through their 'selection process'
of picking the 'most exciting or the best' by lying. Women
 using this  screening method are again frustrated and stay angry.





Female bullies can have frustration in the job or home, or have
such poor social skills that the only job they can keep is where similar
angry persons take  their frustration out of them. They often wish
to cause pain, either real or mental anxiety in their target of wrath.
 Female bullies often  collectively 'make things up' by 'demonising their
 quarry' by saying  'He gives me the creeps' or 'His eyes are too close
 together'. It simply means they believe themselves to be 
 'right' and can make these assumptions because they have claim no 
reason (ability) to 'think' otherwise. 





		Social dynamics of females in groups




Such women in a crowd can individually pore scorn on one person who
challenges  their definitions of 'collective status quo'.  If a male 
enters this type of collection of workers, bullies can have more
 effect together than if they worked on their own. So bullies can have 
their 'power deficit', their  emancipation fulfilled by collectively working
to mistreat a male whom they believe, as a sex, have mistreated them. 
You can be punished several times for one 'crime', [Now I've got you, you
son of a bitch' read 'Games People Play' by Eric Burn for rules.]
This is the same as commenting 'workers tend to learn from each other
and their parents the 'best' games to play'. Usually, on their own-as
with all bullies- they are often much less aggressive. This is due to
a lessening of the 'calculated' high success-ratio bullies need to
apply these techniques.




	An observed game of female staff in the work-place




Observed behaviour in one male-all female environments is the game
of 'Gunslinger'. This atmospheric label means that to avoid the women
being picked on, she picks on you first. Like the 'gunslinger', the
person who 'shoots' (hostile) first, gains the upper advantage. This 
is illogical 'to avoid an argument which you could lose, cause one and win'
This manoeuvre is carried out to protect the bully from subsequent attacks..
 It is also common in 'job centres' (employment offices) and factories 
in a sample of positions in which I worked in North of England. It could 
be a subset of the game 'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch' ['Games 
People Play']





		PERSONAL EXAMPLE OF FEMALE BULLY IN ACTION




As this example indicates, failure to follow the 'rules' set by others
-which are often impossible to fathom or follow-leads to bullying
being the next step. This failure is examined to see if the outlined
work is  valid, and to help us progress in our definitions
of bullying. These and other examples are included to give an idea
and get the feel of the 'T.G.A' method.




(Over 12 years ago, (1985-6) the authors personal experience)



'At a local theme park, I worked at to subsidise my early attempts
to study. It was my first job after the council lead initiative which
I had won a bullying conflict {See 'If your bully is male and you are male'}
 It was a kitchen assistants job, but it was my first 'real' job. I would
work 5 + 1/2 days a week and study at night and at week ends. It was 
tiring but fitted my plan at the time. My work mates were all female
and three in number. Things started well but began to break down after
three weeks. 





Problems started to occur when I revealed that 'I was still talking
to my mother and father and living at home.' This was the sign of
 'gross weakness' by Lisa's definitions. I should, if I wanted her 
as a friend, insult my loving parents and leave home and be 'chained' 
to the job for the foreseeable future. This means she wanted me to 
consider her untested friendship with her more valuable than friendship 
from my own family members. If I had wanted to do this, the money was 
far too little to run a home. The problems grew even worse when I revealed
that I was studying at A-level part-time and desired a degree in the long
term, hence did not want to be tied to a menial job. 






The staff menu which the three had been preparing was dull, routine and
boring. I began to brighten things  up by offering different staff menus
which became appreciated. I was doing two jobs (my own and Lisa's) better 
than Lisa could do her own! This was resented by both women, though the 
third  girl (Nickie) was always neutral. Note this is another rule
one should not exceed the horizons of others work else risk condemnation
from other persons, see 'topics to avoid with strangers' earlier in this
report. (section 2.2 (a))





At the same time I began to be interested in a sexy young 
Jewish girl named Maya. Maya was tall and model-slim  but 'just out
 for fun  with endless simple, short-term gratification', (Hedonist).
 Lisa hated this but hated even more that she could not 'entice' me 
with her 'female charms'. Lisa wanted to play 'Rapo-2'. This was 
another way to complete a task of putting the author down. Both 
continued to steal from the larder and club and tell the boss it 
was me. I was searched two or three times by the supervisor and 
Lisa would giggle behind her back and in front of me.





It was largely over-work and being tired that lead to  frustration aimed 
at her and her work mates. Lisa even tried to steal my bank book. I walked
out amid a blaze of four-letter words. She laughed at me. Little did the
group know that I had already arranged another job with more pay and 
less hours.





As a foot note, she was investigated by the head of the section
as several staff had 'walked out at short notice.' As finding new staff
is problematic, Lisa was  transferred to another isolated section 
of the park. This was after I had stormed out. {I was also being bullied
by Mr R. at the time, see 'If you are male and your bullies are
male'.}'



		Analysis of example 'If you are male and your
		bully is female'





Analysis of this series of events, some ten years later reveal a pattern.
First was as described by 'level one' in section 2.1. That is, testing
 the waters to see if I was a suitable candidate for bullying. Then 
came 'justification and demonisation' for wrath, 'level two'.





 Her bullying had a 'right and wrong', tiered structure
typical of bullies. She began to isolate me from conversation and
mock me behind my back, then in front of me while I did her work for her.
This is a method of applying stress to a victim. She also showed signs
of 'mind-reading' and 'over moralisation', 'Demonisation' , plus the 
games noted in the next paragraph.





Then Lisa began to play 'Blemish' leading to 'Courtroom'. When the latter
game is frustrated she applied 'Corner' and perhaps 'Lets set up Joey'.
 In this case level three  was not completed. From a girl who worked 
with p.c's in the office, Lisa was anti-education and any body she 
could call 'bright' as they 'were not like her and ordered her about'
 {paraphrased remark of Lisa and girl} She associated guilt-which she
 disliked-with 'people in authority, or those  persons  with educational
 back-ground. It is possible that Lisa is aware of her limited intellect, 
and made the choice to use this 'deficiency' as a weapon. 






She requested the author to initially willingly submit to her 'total
 domination'- of me or else-as it turns out- to bear the brunt of 
her wrath. Total domination is defined as leaving my home and live 
on the same caravan site as she and her husband, altering my life 
goals and being like her with no mind of my own. 





This  'decision' indicates she has done this before, as she knows the 
effects of her trouble-making. This, in her eyes, is a method to avoid
 responsibility of her actions, as she had 'given' me the chance to avoid
 the problem and I had declined. Hence, it is 'my fault' that she picks
 on the me. This is classic guilt projection/bullying manipulation as 
used in a 'Corner' hijacking 'Now I've Got You, You Son Of A Bitch' when
required.





Note, that Lisa responded with an attempt to project the 'corner'
game she found herself; in a 'job' not a career, on low pay and at the
living on-site and unable to afford another job as a consequence.
Being 'alike' she 'reasoned' then would have considered me a friend. 
Note this is a 'cheats morality'.





		Possible solution to previous problem






I could have avoided revealing facts on the ill-advised list topics 
to talk to a stranger-to the bully within the initial phase of 
introduction (section 2.2 (a), 'level one'. Having a tape
recorder would have trapped her during her threats, which she denied
in front of her supervisor when she claimed that I had stolen from
the company. To get her to repeat a missed statement, simply 'dare her'.
 A written record of her insults would have been less 
effective as the whole company was riddled with bullying, it would
have been 'par for the course'. It would however, built up a more
substantial case to present to her supervisor as to why staff kept
leaving this menial post. It could have been wise to inform the staff
that Lisa was stealing from her workplace and not fear the consequences
of my actions so much. It could have been that 'sexy Maya' was stealing 
as well and that held me back. Basically, having the ability to discern the 
difference between movements in the games and real emotions would have been
a real bonus in this situation. This is only done in  hind-sight. (Sartre)







Footnote to Lisa



Lisa and Maya claimed that after I left, they both appeared in an 
advertisement with Jerry Hall (Mick Jaggers wife)' shown on British 
television during the late 1980's. She was contacted by Mr.R  it 
was revealed later, {see 'If you are male and your bully is male'} 
and this 't.v appearance' was 'his work'.




Note also that I (possibly) saw Maya in the same type of job in a 
sea-side town fast-food restaurant (1998). She immediately complained to 
her boss and they had a brief, loud, and heated argument. Nothing
 happened excepting her shouting at him while serving in the food hall.




End of example



		Small-scale bullying personal example.




An example was at the job centre which had a serious gaming
female civil servant. A previous argument had become heated with
another official and this person (Mrs M.) had stepped into
the situation. She had been carrying 'dripping-tap' approaches
for weeks following this event. A person who 'counts' insults 
and does not sort these feelings out, or feels powerless when 
confrontations occur, is likely to 'explode' when the 'total' reaches
a 'certain value'. Mrs M. would ask the author to apply for jobs-as
 indicated my official requirements- yet she would actively block 
my attempts to apply for work in this job centre. Its aim was to force
the author to default on the required jobs section, and lose his
entitlement to the meagre allowance.  She also commented
that '[The authors] qualifications do not matter'- see section 2.2 (a)
Topics to avoid with strangers'.  A classic serious gaming
 of 'corner' in 'G.P.P' terminology was in progress. [The best method would
have been to complain to her supervisor, or bring a third party
in to break the game of 'Courtroom' and the author to logically 
explain the situation to this higher ranking official. This was done
and for six months she relented.]





After this period Mrs M. began to creep in and play the same game.
She  commented 'We have only your word for that' when questioning
my holding a degree. The next week I showed her my degree
certificate. She refused to look, in a vain attempt to prevent
her position from weakening. The 'corner' game was projecting
not on the author but back on herself. She never tried the
same technique of doubting my qualifications again.
Note she had acquired how she thought she could 'hurt' and
applied this to the author several times.  At this I questioned
her moral authority to take such stances; 'I do not believe you
have the authority to say that'. 





This case was unusual in that due to explanation of analysis
of personal experience, these games stopped. Logical, non abrasive
techneques were peformed on Mrs M. and involved colleagues and
lead to a cessation of hostilities. These  are high-lighted as
'steps in dealing with a minor bully' after 'Analysis of example'.




			Analysis of example



Note that Mrs M. over 'moralised/simplified' and was 'mind-reading'
and showed some signs of 'Demonisation' of the author in this context.
It seems she has little experience of graduates, yet believes she
commands decisive knowledge of the topic. She was playing 'Gunslinger'
in that Mrs M. was aggressive before have been the focus of my wrath
and demanded 'total superiority'.




Notice she chooses that  she is sure is 'not the authors personality',
 and then uses this 'informed category' as the yard-stick to measure 
the author by; a 'corner' techneque.
{See section 2.2  'level two' (e, ii) and (e, vi) plus (e, vii) for 
classification.} The lack of swearing is a morality 'get-out clause'
to aid admonishment from responsibility for her actions. In other
 words, setting up  a person for a  fall is permissible, but 
swearing is not. Notice Mrs M. was also playing 'Gunslinger'.
 It is the authors opinion that this has been taught
to her by other members of the group in which she works and
has not thought her beliefs through. This seems to point to a 
lack of rigour in her argument.




Note the steps in dealing with a minor bully.



* Analysis of the game in progress.


* NOT SWEARING or getting angry, no matter how irritating others become



* Repetition of facts and not concentrating on the personalities
  involved.



* Logically dissecting their arguments with facts and association
  with both her and your real life, 'you cannot move and live on 70
  pounds a week.' Showing feelings to remove the 'vessel to fill with
  wrath' bullying technique of others, coupled with 'mind reading'
  and 'over generalisation' on her part. 'Corner' is a typical game
  of minor bullies which can branch between 'Courtroom' and 
  'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch' with a victim who plays
  'Stupid', 'Courtroom' and 'Kick Me' as required.



* When required getting a significant other involved to arbitrate.
  By doing this you are refusing to become 'fenced in' by the bully,
  thus forcing others to break the confrontation between you.




			ROMANTIC REBUTTAL




Another selection of potential problems is if a romantic encounter
is rebuffed be the female who then over reacts and claims sexual
harassment. The problem is that the difference between a successful 
encounter (you define this) is not in the mechanics of courtship, but
whether it is wanted by the female.  If you require a 'Games
People Play' reference, look under 'Rapo-2' for females and 'Kick-me' for
males.




The classic four mistakes are listed as follows;




* Rushing the situation



* Expecting reciprocal intimacy if you reveal facts about yourself




* She misreads what you say due to her lack of skill or previous
   experience



* You lead and ignore her signals to slow down or stop



 
Pop records may extol the merit of instant appeal, but it-when it happens
is usually sexual attraction or lust. You will not (probably) gain
a women's affection to submit to your charms by increasing the pace of
your campaign. Women are usually choosy and notoriously immune to sexual
thunderbolts, as 'gods' are few and far between. If she does come onto
you very quickly, be suspicious as she may be doing it for a bet, 
following her internal fantasy (short lived) or is after your money.
Relationships take a long time to grow. 





		Preventative maintenance with female/male relations




Her interests will be at least one of the following. (not in order.)
This is not an attempt to classify all women kind, it is a harmless
limited guide to a larger proportion of younger females which tend to 
bunch in these categories in the opinion and experience of the author of 
this report.



* Nature and animals/ environment


* Fortune telling and spirituality


* UFO's


* God or faith of some kind


* Ghosts and Reincarnation


* Popular culture, including music, dance, and or belief or interest in
(selected) myths and also female rights.


* Fashion or shopping and occasionally 'dressing-up'


* Increasingly, sports appreciation or participation


* Socialising and drinking with friends




[Read 'Girl Chasing: How to improve your game' by Cathy Hopkins
see Bibliography for details]




If things recover but she is still argumentative, find out why she is
still so annoyed. A common reason is that she feel unattractive.
Offer this advice, without thinking this could get you inside her
knickers. A Japanese female wrote a poem (loosely) titled
'The thousand steps to my heart'. Think this as-perhaps-just
one step.





* Say something along the lines of below if she berates her own 
appearance.





How can you judge your own attractiveness to men? To do so you would need
to be able to  be attracted to yourself sexually and to women in general;
 which means you would have to be revoltingly vain egotist/narcissist 
AND lesbian. If this was true, you would not need to worry about what 
men say, as you would not be interested sexually.




Polls of men have indicated that men dream of the ultimate girl,
but will settle with the 'girl-next-door'. A trim figure, very short
or long hair which suits their well proportioned face will satisfy most men.
 Most of which can be achieved by moderately careful planning and patience.
Being 'smart' and considerate with a sense of humour is a positive bonus.





* If she  on low wages and she thinks other decry her due
to her looks.




List her positive points, such as tall, bright-list qualifications
if any.  Are they good company and loyal  and funny? If people decry
you they are superficial and will not recognise their own best
points. In Hollywood, women are judged on their looks. Point out we
 are not living in Hollywood. This is not even really
defensible there, with film production going on, so why defend such
fascist remarks here. Sharon Stone, the film actress, noted that
for a long time ,'Women were either goodie-two-shoes or prostitutes'.
 Why do you want to play either role?  Hitler promoted inferiority by race
looks and breeding. The west went to war to battle against such rubbish.
 A  lot of reasonable people believe
looks are just one dimension to a person as a whole.
List (if true) that you have been attracted to a women who was over
 weight because she was smart and kind. People who judge you by such
superficialities are groundless and lack wisdom. If they lack wisdom,
then why listen to what they say?





A radical approach is to link her desires with her ability to
attempt to get these products or services. Upgrading her job by 
more skills or successful experience in actively working in this field.
 By taking an intermediate series of positions which may or may not 
succeed. At least if she fails, she knows it was not for the want
of trying and will tend to feel less depressed, as she has given
her best.





* If she has skin problems




List her good point (education  or street-wise) tall/petite
good company. Ask her to measure her acne with a ruler (e.g.)
and see that the skin problem  is so small compared to the
rest  of her attributes, that only superficial/idiotic people 
think it really matters. Why worry about being friends with
such superficial people. She may not pursue being a model,
but so what?




If the skin condition is 'serious' then contact her GP
and asked to be referred to a dermatologist or plastic
surgeon. Do something about it rather than worry and
 moan about it.





* If she is in her late twenties/early thirties and some one 
younger calls her 'middle-aged'.




This definition of being middle aged was defined in the Victorian
era. The life expectancy was shorter than today. Hence the
definition of being half way through their life was shifted
down the age range. Middle age is literally in the early-middle
forties and not early mid-thirties. In this day when people
in their eighties can run marathons, it is less a sign of the
 'death of youth' than the changing and adaptation of perspectives.
If you have favourable health, that is....





* If she cannot think of anything other than her looks, perhaps it
is time to find other interests rather than vanity and
her lack of 'love-life' for the moment. She may find she is having
so much fun that she attracts interest from potential partners
because of how happy she has become. Perhaps she may not even
require a partner as she is more content?





[Go to section @2.4, 'INTRODUCTION TO MAIN SECTION']




(ii) IF YOU ARE FEMALE AND YOUR BULLY IS MALE






			INTRODUCTION




In a male heterosexual world, a mans social ranking- the key to all 
his life is volatile and open to debate. His ranking can be hijacked 
at any time by others. His beliefs, his status, the car, the  girl 
you go out with, are signs of the males self view of his own fantasy
he wishes to be. Obviously, this is curbed by health, wealth and
age and other factors.



		Social protocol of a sample of men in the 
		north-west of England taken over twenty years.




To see a man, bullies have male belief system in which the social status
of males needs to be constantly repaired and updated. This means finding 
the 'inner self' or avoiding being alone-which is understandable and healthy-
by doing things approved by the group and by society he finds himself 
amongst. He can pretend to like the arts, or be a practising Vegan one week,
then prove to be a philistine by eating fried bacon in front of you the
next week.





By proving, (say), he
is not gay-by sleeping around with women- he avoids the insults of being
called 'gay'. By doing stereotypical male tasks, such as motor-cycling, heavy
drinking and talking aggressively, he thinks such bullying does not apply.






			A way of life



The male bully is usually in a quest for social success. By this
he avoids bullying from others and potentially, sexual conquest. 
 He will often do 'dynamic, and challenging' acts (threats to others) 
in order to both accrue and defend his current social 'standing'.
Colloquially, it is said 'He takes all the oxygen in the room'.
Saying that, bullies tend to shun the 'middle-ground' of emotions;
his own and significant others. He tends to think superlatively
rather than the middle ground. This, they have observed, reduces
aggressive attacks from other men and interests gullible women.





		Lack of insight by the bully due to sexual bias





A heterosexual bully sees fresh women as fodder to maintain or
improve his status. Males can, by having insight, see that
bi-directional flow of feelings and information being more important
that initial ranking status of the female. If not, this is chauvinist 
behaviour, which has a 'culture' all of its own.




		Instant attraction of the bully towards you





If you are the focus of his 'thunder-bolt' this means your image
is close to his pre-defined mental image of the ideal woman. It is
the identical linking between you and his pre-defined rules or
images of happiness, which cause this event to happen.





If you are attracted to a bully, then you may have rejected signs
during courtship. A macho male may pursue you with great vigour
in the early stages, but when he is sure of your love, he
may decrease his attention he pays towards you. This is foolish
and must indicate a pattern to follow. This pattern is a return
to his old life-style and follow macho attitudes such as
motorcycle rallies, going out on the tiles with his mates. He may
even return to working during the night and leaving you to work
during the day; so you rarely meet during the week. You may
be suprised to find that an extreme man can have no time for
'middle-ground' conversation of a personal nature which could 
support a relationship. Alternatively, he may count your 'flaws' 
but not his own. Hence you will seem 'weak-willed' when compared 
with him. This is the game of 'Blemish' and is independent of 
intellect.




He has presumably failed to get along with women
before, due to his lack of insight. This could be due not to double 
standards, but a lack of dynamic and real self-awareness of his own
motives and options of his own personality. These avenues remain
unexplored territories of his personality.





	The results of rejection of a man by a woman. 




The male may wish to confirm his status, of which his sexuality is
a major part, by trying you out for sexual conquest, a success. If 
you refuse him, his belief system has an growing rebuttal and the dark fears
of age-death and ones own mortality-plus faith in ones sexual persona
come to the fore. He has not become aware of his own feelings and 
motives and cannot see others as a consequence. He often thinks in 'right
 and wrong' terms and sees women as fit-basically-to serve their whim 
and at beck-and-call. Such thinking survives, because it is so easy 
to use and so common in today's human environment.





Side note: If you dress fashionably, this usually means dressing
to show off your body. Be prepared for 'wimps' to be attracted
as well as 'hunks' by your external 'display' of your self esteem
and social rank/beliefs/tribe to which you believe you belong. 






[Go to section @2.4, 'INTRODUCTION TO MAIN SECTION']




(iii)
IF MALE AND YOUR BULLY IS ALSO MALE.



				Introduction



Bullying is usually a contest for social ranking within the group.
The bully male sees you  as a threat, and wishes the double pay off
of seeing you fail and he, the elation of success. It re-enforces
-he tend to think-his sexual orientation and thus potential with females. 
Much of the section relating to the 'volatility of social rank' is
true here also.





Bullies may be criminal in nature, or mentally dysfunctional and
see a social failure as their success.  Hence, score points in
life with you in one area over different area's in which they are
otherwise powerless to resolve. They may be under pressure and
get some relief to see you fail, it makes them look good.
Their beliefs will sculpt-by repetition-a miserable outlook
as all his close work mates will dislike them, in the 'long' run.




The game of 'Gunslinger' can be observed; see section 'male in 
female environment'. This may be a subset of the game 'corner'.




		One reason for a bullies attack.




 A method to set a group onto a man is for one man to call the other 'gay'.
 This (in the authors experience) can 'justify' appalling language 
being heaped on a person. (Section 2.2 (e, i), (e, ii)) It is what he is 
doing 'right now' that proves his status in the opinion of a bully. 
So in theory any man can be called gay, unless he his doing the sexual 
act or have a girl  friend with them in the pub. This 'gay-labelling' 
simply an excuse to cover the verbal abuse being heaped onto some 
one the bully, often does not even know. {Gay rights are not being
 discussed, as the author is not  gay and does not understand gay 
issues.}





 The whole situation is ripe for
 unwarranted hostility because it is designed to allow others to easily
and 'justifiably', cause an upset of the social ranking of anyone with whom
they may not wish to fight with, due to fear of consequences. Others
can hijack the status and maintenance system of a male in question and divert 
attention from their own flaws to real or false flaws in that person. 
Notice that the bully whom accused you of being gay expects an
angry response. This is then a justification for physical force being
used against you. If you do not respond how he expects, you are
'demoted' and he may hit you anyway. Yet more proof of a script.
The person on the  receiving end of such an verbal assault will need
 skill to maintain their status by, most often, de-bunking the status 
of the accuser or not reacting in a way they expect 'normal persons'
to react. Silence then/or humour are potential methods to defuse such
situations and leave your 'standing' intact.




			Personal experience




If you are qualified and you meet someone who feels second-rate for
their lack of qualifications you may see the following. They will
'invert the success ranking', making their failure 'better' than
your 'success'. This is quite common has been encountered
several times in differing persons, so it is a learnt social
technique. Such persons see education as a social rank elevator. Hence
makes the bully look small, hence bullies play 'Gunslinger' against the
'threat'.

 





They are irritated by the respect others show for educated people
and desire this respect themselves, but do not know how to gain this
respect. Having no reason to understand education (say) they try 
to show the educated person in a 'bad light'. This will 'bring them
down to earth' or 'do them good'. Actually underneath is the real 
motive, it is an attempt to make the target feel as guilty as 
the bully feels. This is done to gain social  respect from the
person being bullied.





		Method to avoid problems in such a subject




Logical methods and 'letting bullies down gently' without
guilt trips was a useful educator. That is, show bullies that only
people without wisdom think that education makes you morally better.
Tell the person that education allows your intelligence to be more
flexible, not a 'better' person. 






[Music to write to, Fred Hursh, 'Peacocks', L.O.J]





PERSONAL SIDE-LINE AS AN EXAMPLE HOW TO HANDLE SERIOUS BULLIES IN THE
WORKPLACE.





As to give an idea of situations that the author has been involved
with, here is a tale or two to show how situations became resolved.




'After leaving secondary school with no qualifications (due to ill health)
with a long time of unemployment, I decided to become involved in a council
initiative. This was planned for people like me; to end my unemployment
 and 'get working' and earn money. At night I studied at  night-school
twice a week. This proved to be the first in a series of work bullies.





The scheme was only part-time manual work, but I was happy at the start.
 The first day did not bode well. I made a 'gay' joke and two young men
('Mick' and 'Fatty') confused me with some one on television (!) and rounded
 on me for one-and-a-half hour every day. Their language was appalling.
(See Section 2.2 (a), 'Topics to avoid with strangers')
Because I did not want to put certain portions of the general public 
in a pit and 'burn them with flame-throwers' it was announced that I
must be a 'gay, masturbating, retarded, child-molesting, black-lover'. 
[This has been edited for decency.] {Notice  even basic humanity was
 regarded with derision and 'superlative' notation}





 Even more abuse was hurled at me  due to this
'convenient suspicion', and the supervisor was not in a helping mood, as
he shared the same opinion. This continued for six months. I was 
threatened with a spade in the face on several occasions. Note the
 'demonisation' at level two. Note the 'over generalisation' and
'over simplification' + 'over moralisation' taken by the bully,
hence the vertical social structure all four believed to be true.






When I decided to complain I went to the office on the site to
use the phone. The boss-who was in a habit of leaving mid-day
and still claim a full days pay- announced that 'People
like me could not use the phone or get a reference'. My inquiry
as to a definition of 'like-me' was 'being unemployed'. This is
the game of 'corner' and 'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch'
 {Games People Play'-Eric Burne}. This
reference was the whole point of the exercise to get people
like me OFF the scheme and unemployment register and INTO real
 work. He saw that by being unemployed, this was a 'moral' judgement
of my whole life, forever. Note again the 'over moralising, and over
simplification' and 'vertical social structure'. I saw him steal 
council property when he was here at the site and have his car 
serviced for free by 'obliged' mechanics.'





How did the author handle this?




After analysis of the other player motives-using the assumption
what they had already done is what they will continue to do-on
scrap paper using 'flow-charts' (basic data-flow structures)
, a plan was drawn up. 




The first two men's constant beliefs were examined and these
became the planks of my plan. When swearing was called for it
 was used to stop the lawlessness form increasing. The author 
told them he was not going to cry, no matter how hard they 
swore and he dissected their confused thinking very easily with 
reality and common sense. Another message was that 'This was only
[their] opinion to convince me I was worthless. It was not
convincing me to change his ways of studying at A-level part-time 
or of killing him self due to stress.'  This tends to make the 
bully on their guard and responsible for their actions.





(If you think you need educational qualifications to think
logically, just think of consequences of the stated actions
of your bully.




 E.g. If a man wants to put people
in a pit and burn them, just point out that the men who did that
(WW2) would have racial purity motives. Point out that they are
(probably) racially impure and would be burned also.) If you still
have problems, then use a sheet of A4 paper and think in terms
of past, present and future. Use your vast experience in real life
to govern  your writing. Take days over it. But do not spend more
than 1/2--1 hour per day on doing it. )





The third man?




He asked the site-manager where the nearest telephone booth was
 situated-this was due to the said person claiming '[using council
telephones] that would be cheating tax payers(!)'-and used it during my
 dinner-break. He contacted some one in authority above the man and 
told a truthful account of the errors in the site. He then mentioned the 
two other men and she said that they were well-known to those 
in authority.






The come-uppence was that the third man was removed from
office. The 'sleeping' supervisor who let others abuse me verbally 
was reprimanded. The first two men were eventually spilt up.







In the next job, the author met one of the men who persecuted him
and he was very apologetic and said '[The author] was bright'.
This bully was still unemployed.






End of example.



		IN CONTRAST, BULLIES WHO 'WON THE CONFLICT'





The next camp of  bullies  did not receive  positive
 methods and the author lost out. So indicating anti-bullying methods 
do work in most cases, excepting  serious (criminal) serial-bullies. 
Failures are examined to provide clues to aid success later on.





'Before going into work or re-entering education, I had being seeing
'professionally' a 'therapist' for a problem: lack of confidence. 
His name was 'Mr. R.', a part-time teacher.
 We parted after 16 months of his 'treatment'. Which was him mostly
listening to me talk and hypnosis with positive suggestion from him on
occasion. Mr R. claimed he had 'cured' me by application of this 'method'.
In total the sum of 1300-1500 pounds was paid to Mr R. for his services
over this period.





Some weeks later, he came to my home one day demanding an apology for
a joke I had told others about him and his work. He was very
 irate and needed a statement retracting the joke. He 
was overwrought and tried to strangle me (!). My reaction was to
hit him and ask him to leave. He would not leave, so I kept on
hitting him till he did leave. I had been doing a basic karate keep fit
course for a period of 18 months before hand, and felt I needed to defend
my self against this attacker.'





		OVERVIEW AND ANALYSIS OF HIS 'TECHNIQUE'


			Introduction to generalities


				ABSTRACT


This bullies plan was to cause an event 'E' and make the author complain.
The author would complain to others about 'E' but it would not sound
 reasonable.  This was due to Mr R. lying and getting others to do 
likewise. The author would swear and curse and cause enemies to 
'side with Mr R.'. Mr R. would then tell the secrets about the author
 to fellow bullies.  This is  a classic games of 'corner' and 'Lets set
up Joey', with 'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch' thrown as garnish.





  Mr R. proclaimed himself a 'genius' because he claimed an
  honours degree in Psychology. His plan was to convince others that my 
  confused explanations of Mr R.'s actions would obscure the real proof
  of his deeds. Basically, he 'reasoned' that a realistic reproduction
  of his actions by myself would sound 'insane' as such a 'intelligent'
  man [Mr R.] could not do these things. He hoped to have me 'sectioned'
  and have my genuine claims attributed to my 'madness'. Hence his 
  claim of being a 'genius' and having a 'very large brain' [Mr R. words.]

  Note: Mr R. once claimed that 'We are doing a 'North-by-Northwest' on
  you'. This is a reference to the Alfred Hitchcock film of the same name.
  { A man is manipulated and and his claims of others being out to get
  him <Gary Grant> are not proveable to other parties due to the games
  being played by them and others for their own ends}


  Note, whilst still at school, the author became aware  of Mr R. bullying
  a music tutor at my school. This supports the notion that bullies learn to
  bully over a long period of time.




List of ordered actions which influenced subsequent events.




* My swearing badly when confronted by him and some of the karate club 
  members.




* To underestimate Mr  R's tenacity and heavy-handed tactics of having
  several karate black-belts with him to threaten the author.




* Mr R. often did the 'silent' phone call routine, and when he later 
  saw me, he would be pull his face and expect expressions of terror
  and suffering from his subject. This was handled by taking the 'phone'
  off-the-hook' or possibly now reporting these calls to the 'malicious
  call screening' instigated by the operator.  At least one call had
  the 'karate club' shouting 'kill, kill' in some type of mass
  focusing exercise. It is estimated he called over fifty times
  during the period he was chasing   the author (18 months).




* He sent for sex-change literature in my name and had it addressed
  to my home.




* The bully used secretly recorded tapes of our talking 'therapy' 
  sessions  in his  conversations with other bullies with which he 
  worked in partnership, to enhance the 'bullying ethic'. He thus 
  broke the confidentially of his former 'patient' and one of the 
  basic beliefs of 'healing'.




* Mr R. asked for dedications on local radio with songs such
  'crazy' and so on. This really became out of hand and  led to
  unbelievable consequences which cannot  be  proved at this time.




* He tricked women into pretending that Mr R. was their sexual ideal.
  These strangers would then attempt to convince  me of my inferiority
  to Mr R. and everybody else in the room. 




* His sister was working as a telephone sales clerk with an catalogue
  company. She arranged to bill to the author a 800 pound computer.
  (For interest it was a 286 Amstrad  model). The then joke was 
  '[the author] was too stupid to work the computer'.




* Feeling being caught in a 'corner', if the  author told others about
  his harassment Mr R. would 'tell' someone of my hitting him. At the
  time the author felt it was better to let him 'get tired' of harassing
  me. It is basically 'condemned if I do and condemned if I don't.'





* Following me about or visiting the authors workplace over 100 hundred 
  separate occasions over 18 months-often with black-belts- and causing 
  problems.




* To think it could be forgotten if the author did nothing.




* Mr R. robbed-from a family grave-a metal cross and showed a video 
  of him doing this.




* By telling Mr  R. too much information, this was a 'rod to beat the
    authors own back with'. 




* The lies Mr R. would tell e.g. Mr R. told the authors boss he was a
  mental health 'professional' and was treating the author for 'having
  sex with  my mother (!)' 




* Mr R. changed his job to be in the same college as I was in-[not B.I.H.E]
   After hundreds of lies upon  lies, Mr R. Managed to mark my A-level paper
  which  was a 'b' or 'c', as an 'e'. The author thought this was another of
  life's lessons. Mr R. also lead to author getting a 'fail' mark in another
  topic when he had been getting straight 'A+' in class work.
  The bully lead to the authors tutors being very awkward and abusive with 
  author which lead to mutual distrust. Mr R. also arranged that a pseudo
  'Rapo 3' claim was made against the author and that he be ejected from
  that college and held in custody. When that failed, another girl was 
  shuttled in to claim something similar. Miss G. was forced to be the
  focus of the tutors games to eject the author from the college.
  However she was forced to retract  her claim by brinkmanship of the
  author.




* Mr R. followed the author about and tried to force other to remove him
  from two posts held in different firms. 
  




* He also met with unsuspecting family relatives to 'dish the dirt' 
  and collect information, and to steal items from them. He turned
  up at my brothers house when I was there and my brother wanted
  Mr R. to 'come in and chat like we have done over the past month
  or so.'




* He tried to 'talk the author into committing suicide' by showing
  me how to rig it up in one of his friends car. He commented '[Mr R.
  will help you']




* Mr R. claimed to have been on 'friendly terms' with famous rock musicians,
  news readers and children's presenters, screen actresses and talk show
  hosts, such as 'Oprah Winfry' during 1987(!) and to have been her principle,
  personal guest on the show. He claimed to have also been featured, 
  invited guest on  'Rikki Lake' talk-show as well for a period of 18
  days during 1987. He also claimed to have been on the children's show
  'Going Live' (BBCTV) 'News at 10' and 'Granada Reports' (ITV)




* Mr R. and a armed-forces friend brought with them a transsexual
  prostitute who stated '[it] was 'better' than the author'. The
  apparent motive was an insult to me by the transsexual, but it
  was-in reality-at the expense of the transsexual as Mr. R.
  hated 'perverts'. (Mr R. own phrase) 'Lets set up Joey' [G.P.P]
  This was handled by saying 'Is 'it' giving you a  free [sexual act]'.





* The bully hired a bus to take the former bullies  from the building site
  to 'meet the author' again (combination of Lisa-Maya) to
  'dish-the-dirt' (put me down, note the vertical structure of rank)




* Failing to report Mr R. when he held a real gun in the authors mouth.
  The author handled this by saying '[A relative] is around the corner'.



* Both Mr R. and his then friend, the ex-S.B.S soldier / body guard
  pretended to be customers interested in the same car that I was 
  buying from a local garage. They asked to look at the car on their
  own and the garage man obliged. One of them slashed the seat belt
  and sawed the gear-stick in such a way that only prolonged usage 
  would show the defects. He wanted me to be driving on the motor way
  and the gear stick to come away in my hands, this this was an attempt
  to endanger my life.



* Mr R. attempted to kill  by ramming his moving car door into the
  authors bicycle as they both descended a hill. 'During such, I hit 
  a car and almost broke my nose. He laughed and stopped the car and
  'twisted my neck' in the hope than the impact had caused spinal
  damage. This could have led to me being in a wheel chair for life.'
  He also laid nails opposite-facing the descent of the hill and caused
  over two accidents. This is apparently 'military procedure' in guerrilla
  warfare and was instigated by an acquaintance of the karate club; an ex
  S.B.S member. 




* He even waited till the author came to see a dentist to have wisdom 
  teeth out and pretended to be next of kin and abused the author both
  mentally and physically whilst in the dental chair. Mr R. threatened
  to 'burn [the author] alive with petrol'. He then took photographs 
  of the author bleeding from the gums in the chair. His friends
  the karate club also threw the author around the room whilst
  under the influence  of anaesthesia. My brother who was with me
  saw the man Mr R. and  Mr R. denied he had met him. (My brother
  has a poor memory and denies this event ever occured. My brother
  spectacularly failed to recognise what was occuring.)



			Analysis of example 'Mr R.'




			Games played by the bully
		(refer to 'Games People play' by 'Eric Burne'
		or 'cheats dictionary' in section 2.2)





This is a example of a  person who plays 'Corner' and 'Courtroom'
coupled with 'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch' plus
 'Lets set up Joey' ['Games People Play' by ERIC BURNE]. 





Mr R's anger grew in intensity and he 'learnt  how to hurt' in a
 systematic manner by looking at the responses of the author. 
This extreme player will lead to  the 'surgery, the courtroom or
the morgue' and is  psychologically unsuited to the
profession Mr R. elected himself to represent. Perhaps he should
administer therapy to himself? 





{ Subsequent analysis has revealed a hypothesis of  games that the
author was playing at this time.  'Look what you made me do'
, branching to either 'courtroom', 'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch'
 'corner' or 'kick me/stupid as required.}





			POSSIBLE COUNTER-MEASURES




What would have been wiser could have been to defend myself and not
attack. To have told someone and to have kept a diary of events with
photographs and possible tape recordings would have been invaluable.
To have kept my mouth shut about the joke, which was only
'shop-floor humour' in this case would have been the best course.
To have collected actual proof would have stopped the situation in its 
tracks. Admission that I could not handle things and informing the proper
authorities with this  proof would have been the best bet. 




[Go to section @2.4, 'INTRODUCTION TO MAIN SECTION']





(iv)
'YOU ARE BOTH LESS THAN 16 YEARS OLD.'




			PERSONAL EXAMPLES OF CHILD-BULLYING.




This is a tough one. You do not know enough about yourself to see
your full potential. It is trial and error. The author was bullied
by a 'tough' boy named 'Martin Hooper' whilst at primary school.
It wasn't what Martin did it was the way he said it that made me frightened
of him. Martin wasn't good at lessons but wanted to come first, because
'that's where winners go'. It was first or nothing for Martin.






Martins brother was his primary influence. He did a manual job, like a refuse
collector and was bitter at the 'bosses of the world', and filled
the enthralled little brother with a intellectually thin tirade
of 'working-class' Marxism. Looking back, both could be classed as
 'W.A.S.P' (White-Anglo-Saxon-Protestant) with a chip on both shoulders.





Martin wanted the to become the focus, the pivotal point around which
all the class revolved. All decisions became 'set in concrete' within his
point of view. He was the first to kiss all the nice girls. Something I
thought was one of life's lessons.





His technique was them shrouded in mystery and given to provoke awe in
those not in the 'in-crowd'. Martins techniques was basically this; he
tended to stand close to his object of hatred, shout and swore a lot, 
and push people about. It was his talking that did the damage. Yes, he
did get in a fight. But this was rare. Boy, did his credibility go 
skywards when he hit some one.





Does that sound familiar?
It went on for years, until he shared the crown with a lad called
'John' who at five inches taller than him imposed a huge advantage.





Years later, I saw him working in a meat shop. I had grown to 6',
done Karate and eventually went into higher education. I verbally 
'wiped the floor' with him. He was 5' 4" and acted stupid. He had
developed an ulcer and was troubled with his nerves.





Looking back, what allowed the situation to continue was the following
factors;




* My and class silence e.g. Not telling teachers!




* Always giving in to his demands by humouring and giving services




* Not doing a martial art. For confidence only!




* Lacking self confidence to stand up to him




* His 'three-chord trick' of standing close, shouting  and  pushing





It is what they threaten, not what they do that gives the advantage.
The 3 point trick; stand close, shout, and push is not a basis
for intellectual approach. Before you are tempted to use Karate
on him/ her and risk expulsion form school, first make your bullying
known to your parents and the school. It is not cool to let 'dick-heads'
walk all over you. The 'splitting' is put about by the bullies to
allow them to continue bullying. You have to bite the bullet and
risk a change to these circumstances, which will be for the better in
most cases.





I can see that confidence from sports will be small-fry if your
a 12 year old girl and your surrounded by a gang of four 15 year olds.
Tell someone, please. Team bullies need outside intervention to
break-up the learnt pattern of three-tiered stress inducement in their
victims. (see earlier in report) Do not, repeat not think that suicide
would help things along. If you are thinking this way, you are
mentally ill and require formal help from an external authority.
You deserve help for this problem-which for one reason after
another-you are unable to control.




		MORE PERSONAL REFLECTION, A SUCCESS!





One method how I dealt with a sporty bully. I studied what he claimed
and looked for a weakness. He claimed, in an enclosed, all-male 
environment of a secondary-school gym that he claimed the following;





* He could fight well




* Good with girls 'in bed'




* He would threaten to 'beat us up' if we began to challenged him




* 'If we had a dick like [his], we would be proud'





We took it for a while, the insults and the threats. Till I decided
to check one claim.





In front of the class assembly, and talking to the girl
half of the room, I said, '**** claims if we males had a dick like his
we would be proud, and hence, girl's fall at his feet. What do you say 
to that girls?'





He was very sheepish and  changed schools! I was given a pat on  the
back by another pupil and congratulated by several others for showing
the man for the chump that he was.



************************************************************



2.4			INTRODUCTION TO MAIN SECTION




The approach taken to avoid being the target of bullying tends to be
'liberal with what you receive and conservative with what you give 
out.' This is current advice in 'Netiquette' for those persons 'on-line'.
We want to absorb anger to give it a chance to decay naturally, 
rather than punish for the sake of it. We want the bullying to stop 
don't we? 




Bullies-when serious players-are involved, do not play other than
 for their own 'total victory' and your 'utter humiliation'. They 
are criminal, the law of the jungle applies where civilisation ceases.




Do not forget that sometimes, it is just 
your 'share' of bullying, like everyone else has had at some time or 
another.






2.4.1			ARE YOU BEING BULLIED?






Examples like your being singled out to do hard work of others for
little compensation. Being pressurised or humiliated in front of others is
another sign of bullying. If its sources are official, it can be civil
servants or nurses who go out of their way to make life harder for you.
Being robbed of money, hit or left carrying the can of worms of somebody
else's mess are only some of the forms pressurising can take. 





The culture of bullying stretches  back into the past. It covers all
continents and races at some point in their history. It can be based
on projecting insecurities via routines such as 'She's wearing last
years hat' to 'Not 100% pure German' and the 'Final Solution'. It uses
self absolution or abdication of responsibility to consequences and 
refusal to face responsibilities caused by their actions.






The author have found-as others have done- that bullying has a script.
 Your reactions are also calculations of likelihood of acceptance
 by you. If you are fore-warned by this script, you can have the
 upper hand over the bullies that torment you. This is NOT the
same as mind-reading.




 SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION DUE TO BULLYING.




These are simply 'handles' to possible depression, or likely
signs of the after affects and include the following symptoms.




2.4.2.@1 Moodiness or easy irritability or becoming upset very
quickly.




2.4.2.@2 Withdrawal from social interactions and company or you
bully someone else.




2.4.2.@3  Neglecting of physical appearance, skipping bath, not cleaning
teeth etc.




2.4.2.@4  Rapid,  for no reason changes in measurements by becoming 
bigger or smaller waist-size within months.




2.4.2.@5  Difficulty with concentration on work tasks.




2.4.2.@6 Becoming 'bad & good' thinker and 'blaming' yourself for
simple errors.'




2.4.2.@7  Lost your confidence?




2.4.2.@8  Unable to sleep throughout the night due to thinking.




2.4.2.@9  Do you have headaches, feel tired and have upset stomach?




2.4.2.@10  Thinking there is no light at the end of the tunnel and
have suicidal thoughts.





If you find you have most of these symptoms and especially 2.4.2.@10
then you should seek medical help form your general practitioner.
You could need a stay in hospital if these thoughts are chronic
 (lasting a long time). This possible depression is part of the 
excess of long term intensive bullying strategy of your opponent. 





2.4.3	THE MEASURES AND APPROACHES OF A BULLY CLASSIFIED
	    INTO  PROGRESSIVE CLASSES OF LIKELIHOOD AS
		EXPERIENCED BY THE AUTHOR.



			INTRODUCTION



The list matches the likely measures to linked provocation in observed
methods of bullies. It is not assumed that you will progress through from
@1-@14 in exact order or even reach to level @14.




@1 Tell somebody about it. If you can, prepare a list of events as evidence
beforehand to order your mind.




		General division of initial  plan of a bully




There are basically two approaches a intimidator can make. If a person
threatens that 'them, they' or otherwise in the third person 
is relating  to ideas the bullies hate, make it clear that you do not share
these notions.





Alternatively, if they otherwise get at you 
by name only, reduce your personal details when in their company. Become
 'one of the shadowy people'. Do this even if the bully is as 
'nice-as-pie' when they do ask for information. Generally, do not
reveal too much personal detail to any person with whom you are not
familiar with.





 Nice people do not bully, so why think being nice back will appease a
bully? Proper behaviour is being non-provocative will make it easier for
you.




			Off the blocks, the race to win





The bully will 'sound you out' (level one) first, before acting 
by extracting information from you which they can use. Often the 'bully' 
will be the group. The group members  often in the job for over two 
years and are thus bored stiff. Bullies may even tell you they do this
 because they are 'bored' and expect this 'healing' for the group. It
 'helps' them to get over 'monotony'. 




 Usually the groups are frightened in 'open' environments or have 
each member on their own. That is, when they do not have a high 
guaranteed success ratio. 




		Group bullies, some tactics




If you make a mistake in the group-bully environment, you can step 
into the notice of your superior by the number of  multiple complaints 
he/she receives. These 'complaints' are often over the SAME mistake. 
It makes bullies feel big and transfers their
'inferiority/guilt'  on to you. To 'justify' this, bullies will 
require unreachable perfection for you as a minimum: a classic game 
of 'Corner' in 'G.P.P' terminology.





If you are not 'perfect', you will have failed. Hence you 'deserve 
this punishment' and by 'giving you a chance to prove otherwise',
 the bully is absolved from responsibility of subsequent actions. By 
pointing out your 'failings', the bullies failings are 'obscured',
 a double pay-off. At this stage, stand up for your self, by pointing 
out that their complaint is not valid-if it isn't. If is valid 
complaint, then comply and learn.





* Do NOT swear at them as this WILL  inflame the situation.  
  Women can swear, openly but this is still unusual. Bullies
  who  set targets  'for a fall' by lying  is some how condonable
  in 'moral and intelligence terms'.





* Point out they  are in error, but do not state 'bad or good' type
  arguments. 'That is not the case' or 'Its not quite like that' are
  suggestions, then explain your supporting evidence. Show you are
  reasonable and open to reasonable arguments from anyone. This method
  could require  a period of 4-16 weeks to make headway.





		'Dripping tap' approach of a bully




The reason is that the bullies opening gambit is that you will become
angry-hence show a weakness in your personality which they can exploit.
They avoid-if you do flare up- the responsibility of 'actions seen to cause
such offences'. In other words, its a spread of risk by the bully in the
initial stages of inquiry. Often they have been doing this to a lot of
 people before they have applied their techniques to you. If a suitable
'handle' is found, others then may join in to avoid being bullied themselves.




		Reason against bullies in the initial stages





Most people with a grudge cannot think three responses in advance,
so for their top three problems, think of responses which solve them.
Do this overnight if required. If these problems are concerned with
you alone and are basically insults, say 'Your not perfect are you'
or laugh at them once or twice. The latter is a killer move and 
make them feel very small.





Let them insult you and try and ignore it but note it down in your
log when you return home. The bully will think about how to insult
 you over the week, in order to make themselves angry. If you think 
about the insult's two things will happen; in the short term you be 
angry too, in the long term you will become depressed. The anger will 
twist your judgement and you could 'overstep' the mark. Think in terms
of 'proven facts' only and do not reprocess to 'predict' as this
WILL make you feel confused  or over-anxious, thus you will be
fodder for the bullies.




 

Some people have problems thinking
and only register intense emotions such as repeated and dynamic 
outbursts of anger. Your message of logical dissection may fall on
'deaf ears'. If its any comfort, bullies will have-in general
-a very disgruntled life in the long term. Assuming they do not
change their views or life-style they will die having wasted their
life by being angry and clueless most of the time.




			A tested gambit against bullies.




Try ignoring the events for a while, but if things begin to increase
in intensity, try the following. Do not react to every personal attack,
but react to their top four complaints. React to, (say)  one-in-six
(randomly chosen limits each time) insults they mention you personally.
 You will then have the upper-hand. By this manoeuvre, the bully will
 feel-over time-that the more they act, the more ineffective and 
stupid they will seem to other group members. Point this out to the 
bully in front of an audience. It is a way of applying resistance and
keeping up your moral.





This intermittent 'brake' has less of a 'direct-link' between 
hurting you and the bullies application to try and hurt you. This 
is due to avoid the 'thrill-of-the-chase.' Tell the bully, for all 
their words, you will respond when [you] feel it is correct to do so. 




.
 Do not look down when you talk to them. Look  at them in the eye, but 
do not threaten. Your a person with feelings which the bully 
needs to become aware of, instead of the false opinions they consider
 you to not have feelings.





Try to reach out to talk to other persons. They may have been insulted
by the bully and thus be readily compliant, or just keep a low profile
 during the day. This will be invaluable 'shelter' from the abusive bully.





Another teachers trick is to let the bully list all their complaints.
Ask them if they have finished, then dismiss them one by one.
This gives the impression for all their ranting, your response is
calm and considered. If they interrupt, 'You said that you had
finished?'




			Beware of this possible side effect




If they are really clueless they could consider that your silence is 
your 'weakening under pressure'. If this happens, respond more often and 
'sit it out' and try again another time the random delay approach.




			Likely response or branch point




If bullies wish to take it further, this will inflame them for a while.
'Who do they think they are?' bullies will usually say. Some people will
'gun for you' whatever you do and blame you for it. Do not believe it
is always your fault. Point out their double standards.
If it continues or turns even worse, this will show them as
 serious bullies, and need to be handled differently. 




			The next step if thing continue




@2 For the serious bully-over seven days, keep a diary (back-dated) 
and log fully the account with time and date and whom were present. 
Let your bully know you are writing a log of their misdemeanours. 





		A useful method to find information about that
		being said by the bully




@3 Hidden pocket tape-recorders with a voice-activated option can record
the treats and abuse in case they are ever denied. Leave your bag by
your canteen seat with a hidden pocket recorder and see what they say about 
you when you are out of the room. This is a fine gambit if a bully
attempts to 'talk for the others' when the other are not talking to you
directly.





Do some test recordings first. Consider buying a standard audio/music
 cassette hand  held recorder model (Realistic-Tandy/Radioshack, Sony and
 Sanyo) make them, at present) with a small-well hidden-external microphone 
to allow the recording machine to be less observable whilst recording.( A 
handy feature is 'voice actuation'. This means the tape only records when 
somebody is in the room or  noise is above an adjustable threshold.)





 Listen-no more than once-when you are at home to the remote 
recordings you make. This will give the scale of the problem and the 
ring-leaders and the 'sheep' who are passive. Do NOT let them know 
you are recording them at this stage. If your work  place is noisy, then 
record in the canteen or somewhere quieter. Place head phones in the
 headphone socket, just in case they ever find it. This will cause them to 
think it is for playing music cassettes. Don't spend too much as the 
bully could steal or break your recorder.


		

		More gambits against bullies.




If they ever challenge you to repeat what you say, do not repeat more than
once. This repeating is designed to reduce your self confidence. It makes
you think that your words do not matter. Ignore it or talk every seventh
insult and state 'Your a two-year old, really you are' or 'Have you forgotten
to take your medication' or 'Get therapy, kid.' or 'I'm not falling for
that old trick.' 



			Avoid isolation, tell someone! 





@4 If in the workplace, tell your superior or union representative. Keep the
taped threats in case they act upon it. It will be evidence. Press
the hidden tape recorders 'on' button when bullies or bosses are being 
abusive.  If the tape recorder has a illuminated diode when in operation
, cover it with a black tape before using the tape unit.




			Collecting evidence



@5 Take a pocket  disposable camera with built-in flash-gun. Take
 a photograph of them and state, if this bullying continues, 
you will take this further. Do not hand this camera over if they 
complain to the supervisor. State the staff are being unreasonable 
and this is evidence and log a formal complaint.




@6 Tell or find friends, either in work or at home and keep it up to date
and explain. They may know something that you do not know.  




		More gambits and a 'life-belt' against attack




@7 If you are worried, try and get a warning 'solicitors letter' to tell
the person to back off.  This will cost 20 pounds or so. Give them a
 photocopy in case they rip it up  and not read it.  Bullies want
 to make you feel insignificant and incapable. Stick to the facts and
 try not to think about the events when you are at home. This gives
your mind chance to think clearly.
Most of the threats are short lived but are issued over and over again.
It is the re-thinking and re-processing that causes the harm, as you
 hear several dozen insults when only a few issued from their mouths. 
Enrol in a basic self-defence course in the mean
time, such as 'Karate' or 'Taekwon Do' to blue belt. You need not go 
above blue belt. If you do, it is commonly known in martial-art circles 
as 'learning how to kill'. We require not  attack routines but methods of
defence and added stress-relaxation.



			Stress management for the 'long-haul'



To cope, buy a self hypnosis tape and play it when you get 
home and in private. The usual idea behind these tapes is something
along the lines of 'you are a balloon going down,'
or 'on a raft in the ocean.' They work by concentrating progressively
relaxation techniques on your body parts. 
Try to have at least one-two hour's free per day at home when you
do NOT think of troubles at work. If you wish, worry for  one hour
only per night, then relax.




Do this every night and stress could be reduced by natural
decay over time. Auxiliary to this is the sport option, as outlined before.
Even if its once a week, this will give structure to your week or day.
 Structure is the best weapon against threats. Don't freeze, like a 
Rabbit caught in head-lights! Do not try to predict the trouble, 
as this is a self defeating excuse to let the worrying make a meal 
of things.



		The 'old routine' of self-justification




The bully will dress their frustrated attempts to abuse you as 'Having
a sense of humour. Can't you take a joke?' This excuse is offered by 
the bully to cover any guilt he may feel and make you seem that your
 over-reacting and not in touch with 'reality'. Tell them this is 
not funny. Explain to them they are getting on your nerves. Do NOT
plead with them.



	In 'rough waters' and you feel like your going to sink...




If they insult you for 20 minutes at a time, let it continue. When
they are tired or when your heart is about to break, tell them 'You will
never make me cry'. Stifle back the internal sobs and do not let 
them see you cry. Use logic to show why you are not going to cry. Use 
long term plan outlines to show career motives. Say in ten years time, 
they will be in the same job and you will be somewhere else on better
pay. Anything to give you a long term goal to allow you to live through
the tirade of filth bullies often come out with. This will show
your metal, and impress amongst others your reputation as being
strong-willed. Say you find the abuse disgusting and will continue
to write this in the log later tonight.




		Some claims made by bullies




Often bullies claim 'great success' with  sexual conquests. Point
out that in your experience, no reasonable, nice looking person
would stay 10 minutes with them. Say you do not believe their
accounts of sexual encounters.  This, if true, will leave the
bullies speechless for a short time. If bullies 'explode', this also 
means they are probably lying playing a 'game' with you.
Someone who makes a competition out of love is NOT to be trusted
by either male or female companions. By denying this opportunity
you may hurt the bullies ego and they may become more compliant.


		

		If things are not getting better...




@8 Don't leave personal belongings around for them to find. Take 
crucial work with you at all times. They may try 
to damage your work or belongings as an extension to their plans. Record
it in letter form when you get home along with your usual list of complaints.
At this point, they may attempt to cause 'great levels of guilt', but
by not swearing, this is seen to be reasonable behaviour. This
is tough talking and is basically 'black-and-white' in nature. You are
'all bad' and they are 'all good'; classic demonisation techniques.
			



		Pro-active response to the bully.

	



 Do not keep re-reading  the record as it will either make you
 angry or depressed over time. Append any subsequent remarks or facts as
required and leave it alone! If they do keep bullying, keep complaining
to the your immediate supervisor or higher up the ladder. The bully when
challenged will deny it. Play the 'choice recording' tape to the
crowd of supervisor and bully. This will prove them a liar. This may
stop direct abuse, but some back stabbing may now occur in 'hard bullies'.
  They will talk behind your back or begin to lie to get you
out of the job. For example, they could slash your tyres or send
the police round to your home at three o-clock in the morning.
[Authors personal experience]





 The boss knows now who is telling the truth and who is not. If your boss is
poor he will just want the work to be done and not act. Find the head
 office of the company if one is available. Send a letter-keep the copy-
by recorded post for proof of sending and explain the problem with the boss
and the work person who is threatening you. 




	If you get abusive telephone calls from the bully...





@9 Tape record any abusive phone call you encounter and tell the operator
straight away. They will put a tap on the calls and will be part
of the 'malicious calls screening'. Use the throw-away camera to record
any visits they make to threaten you in person. If you have a video
camera, use this in your home. Ask friends and neighbours to watch 
your car or house when you are away.






Every time they confront you, make a written complaint as usual to the
supervisor. Explain to the boss you  are concerned that you may be 
hit and will have to call the police if this does happen. 





Contact the local job centre as they may comment or have records
relating to your firm. The threat of not having fresh supply 
of workers could make the company sit up and take notice.




		Gather information for your report.




@10  Get others to be with you when these threats occur. Keep talking
to others to see what the 'sheep' say about the 'wolves'. 'Is
he/she like this with others?' They may expand and give you fresh
ammunition for your report. Keep going to the canteen and see
the dynamics of the situation. Observe, like an anthropologist.





@11 Don't threaten them back as this will be evidence for them to abuse
you and lever public opinion. People who make you feel small are
playing a game. If they do make you feel useless, they have probably
learnt to do this over a long time frame. You could see that the 'unwritten
 rules' of western social interactions are only 'attempts' to convince you
to believe what a bully says to be true is indeed true. Say to bullies
that they will have to be 'much more convincing' with their arguments
to even start to convince you they are correct. 





Do not make more of it than it really is. If you
become upset then this will give them satisfaction. Put them in their
place, 'Your a complete two year old' don't make references to threats, just
that you see him/her as a childish brat. Keep in control. It will be hard
but keep up a front. Do not under estimate your opponent but be realistic.




			One of life's trials




@12 Some people lack wisdom, so if they lack this don't be shocked
to see them making mistakes. 




Also, if the head of operations is a bully, the rest of the staff
will probably be similar. The bullied tend to become bullies to each
other. This is a very difficult situation. Go with your 'gut-instinct' 
is it worth going under fighting corrupt company?





		After six-to-eight months of bullying.			




@13   If nothing is done after six-to eight months by head office
 and it seems to be getting worse, consider when
to quit. Write to the highest office above them. It is the threat
of a fight and not the fight itself. Throw down the gauntlet.' If you
hit me I will make sure the police know about you' 
Risk this as being better, not as being worse. They will continue 
the previous abuse but the air could clear. 



		If a bully hits you...



If this person then attacks you, let them strike you first and deflect the 
blow. The basic course in a martial art will help here. Go to the supervisor
immediately. The police will have to react to such
a fight. It is the threat of a fight and not  the fight itself which causes 
the gloom and feeling of oppression. Read anything your company wants
you to sign. Then take it to a solicitor before you hand it back to the firm.
Make a photocopy before you hand it back. Press charges, you are now in
control of the bullies destiny.




	Turbulence from the events will last a long time




After the events have been resolved, then it will fully hit you and
you will see what you could have done or better methods for your
situation. This is the start of the healing process, which could take
years. This is normal. It usually isn't your fault most of the time.




	If you get so angry that you take the law into your own hands...




@14 If you take the law into your own hands and are questioned, answer
police questions one at a time slowly and do not respond to pressure 
to blurt things and do not answer several questions at the same time. 
Do not make too much or little eye contact with the officers. Don't
swear or play games, just be honest with them and recite your bullying log
details to them. Think before you speak, however. Get legal help when
interviewed, it is your right. Don't let the police force you to talk
 without legal representation being present at the interview.




(It could depend on your luck as to whether police officers are
supportive or not.)




2.5 CONCLUSION.





[Please re-read, if you haven't done so, 'Games people Play' by
Eric Berne.) Read the theoretical section then try to identify which
game dynamic relates to your predicament in the later sections.




For example, try the following games described (not in order)




1  'Rapo' 1 & 2

2  'Courtroom'			

3  'Corner'				

4  'See what you made me do'

5  'Kick  me' 				

6  'Now I've got you, you son of a bitch'  

7  'Blemish'				

8  'Schlemiel'

9  'Stupid'

10 'Wooden leg'

11 'Lets set up Joey'

12 'Greenhouse'

13 'Let you and him fight'

14 'Sweetheart'

15 'Look how hard I'm trying'

16 'Peasant'



Avoid sections concerning 'Alcoholic' and sections of 'corner'
applicable to severe mental illness such as Schizophrenia. They
are not games but are organic problems in nature. However, the
'double-bind, corner' is still relevant to working world.




	Reflections on the events concerning the bully and you.




If this happens over and over again, you may need to examine the
'trim-of-your-own-sails' to see what game, or simple social
gaff that could be causing the re-occurring events. Go  though
your bullying diary and see if common factors in events  can
be seen. Think very carefully, has this happened before? This is
the final part of the anti-bullying technique. This will put you
ahead, for the moment... You may find that you cannot see
what error in your behaviour caused or warranted their actions.
If you have a low opinion of your self, this may help to lift
the cloud a little. The bullies 'Waterloo' -defeat- will be all
the closer and you can begin to move on, in time.





2.6 			BIBLIOGRAPHY


Related back-ground information for your interest.



'BODY LANGUAGE: How to make the most of your assets by reading and using
the bodies secret signals'
SUSAN QUILLIAM
CARLTON BOOKS (1995 EDITION)
ISBN 1 85868 042 5


'BODYWATCHING: A field guide to the human species'
DESMOND MORRIS
GRAFTON, Am imprint of HarperCollins publisher (1987 edition)
ISBN 0 586 20274 9



Books actively used in this report.


'GAMES PEOPLE PLAY: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS' (1985 EDITION)
ERIC BERNE, M.D
PENGUIN BOOKS LTD
ISBN 0-14-002768-8



GIRL CHASING: HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR GAME (1994 EDITION)
CATHY HOPKINS
PAGE 63
HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS
ISBN 0 00 637940 0



 
			Bullying post script

				MAY 1999


Although not part of the 'BULLYING.TXT' report, another bullying
technique has come to my attention and feel this merits some notice
to the report.


WORKPLACE

The classic manoeuvre is to play 'gunslinger' with the question;
'Are you gay!' This is a projection of corner onto another; if a person
replies 'no' another question is asked. 'Would you kill gays/blacks etc.
with a gun/knife/flame-thrower?' If again the negative response is
given, this 'proves' that the person is 'gay' and this is seen as 
justification for unending abuse.



This is a sign of a 'cheats morality' in operation during questioning.



This is included as it has been verified to have happened so often
that it tends to leave the conclusion that this is a social technique;
designed to project inferiority, and to hide the 'weakness' of the
prosecutor.




@2 The outsider: the graduate


Being a graduate, it has come to my attention that others who do not
share the same level of qualifications use this as an excuse to
project their 'inferiority' on to me: 'Blemish'.



These persons who have 'stayed in the harbour and not swam in the sea' of
life, tend to lack insight to their own motives. This can be due to being
too busy with getting on with their own lives, and see such reflection
as 'new-age mumbo-jumbo'.


They usually attempt the following (not in order)


*1 Inversion. 'My 2 o'levels are better than your degree'


*2 Raise levels of inferiority and guilt of the graduate, by projection
their own inadequacy  on to the graduate. This can cover the money
graduates spend, their clothing or things that they talk about. They attempt
to create a vector between these items and inferiority; the two are the
same.


*3 Denial of friendship with the graduate, unless they admit
the unskilled are better than the skilled, (social rank inversion)


*4 Demonisation, over moralisation effects (see bullying report proper)



Personal success methods


* Logical dissection of bluffs against graduate


* Not responding to insults, as this identifies the weakness of the graduate
to the bully, and  thus have a 'handle' 


* Repeating and standing your ground


* Not inflaming the situation by swearing.


* Making the bully responsible for their actions by showing that
their 'moralisation' is invalid. Also point out that bullies inferiority
is of their own making, and thus the bully can do something about it them-
selves.


* Get the person to do, rather than moralise. 'Leave moralisation
to the theologians'


* If what the bully says goes against your own experience, tell them
it does not work that way.


* Bullies worry about social rank and by bullying you are e attempting
to gain in this department. Point out if they worked harder and
worried less about what other think, they could create structure
to a life goal.


* Ask them 'Where do you want to be in 10 years?'


* Some bullies worry about the 'death of childhood'. That is,
if they are over teen-agers, they consider themselves and others to
be old and dead!


Point out that the only alternative to not growing old is death.
Show that you need to come to terms with this condition at some point
in their lives. A lot of the media-if used in isolation- promotes
this youth view. Point out this is done to promote sales of goods, and it
does not stand up to scrutiny as being 'essential' to life.


'What have teenagers achieved?' The list is short!


Again raise the fact that 'middle age' was composed during the
Victorian era, when life expectancy was shorter than today.


Basically, make the bully responsible for their actions of bullying
and less concerned about perceived social rank. If you leave one circle
of friends, you generally acquire the standing to enter another circle.
 

* Please note that criminal behaviour is not dealt with, as this cannot
be controlled without consulting the appropriate authorities.

'Bye'


End of file 'BULLYING.TXT'